Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
