She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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