Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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