if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
