I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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