You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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