mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Can I color on your dick again?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
