I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
