party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
