Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
