kristin has been a bad kristin
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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