my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
