I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
