just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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