I want to have your abortion
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
