My hand turned me down
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
