I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
