Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have post one night stand depression
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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