Where is the hickey?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
