Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
