He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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