he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
