Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
