hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
