she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
