it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
