I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
