Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
