I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
