dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
