So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
