What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
