Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
