She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
