i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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