sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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