I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
