First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
