Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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