Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
