turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
