Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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