is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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