I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The power of my boobs compel you
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
