he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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