Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
