he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
