My liver just broke up with me...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
