I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Success! We fucked roommates!
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