I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
